Mosquito hell!

Hello world! Just got back after a week-end of camping in the deep forests outside Arvika, Sweden. It was mosquito hell!

Well they were maybe not as terrible as what they would be like in actual Hell, but camping outside in Scandinavia during the summer, those flying pests can get damn annoying! We were a group of trance-loving friends who drove over there for a two-nights outdoor mini festival called MossMys2. The artist line-up was quite good and the weather stayed pretty dry too, rain was no big problem really because I’d brought my big “Praxis” tarp – which I’d had to get for improving the living conditions at the Ruigoord Landjuweel festival in Amsterdam last summer.

But sleeping outside in a hammock was just impossible, the insects would probably suck you dry of blood within a few short hours. Mosquito hats, nets and tents were the only defense against them, except maybe for rubbing motor-oil all over your body (which allegedly would do the trick nicely, but just think about that for a while – not good). Some of us got some really big bites to brag about.

Only bad thing was the music (at times, when it turned into some Techno/Rave crap) and not enough food and drinking water to last the whole festival, other than that – fantastic! Good friends from Oslo and lovely friendly Swedes, except one crazy fokker with an ax (while being out of his head) – he got a little bit scary there for a moment; chopping down a tree and threatening to go for blood next. Nothing happened in the end.

Things are still great here at home though, I’m in love with a beautiful girl called Ingrid, the job is coming along just fine (been here for six months now) – and the escape plan for the summer has been formulated. Samothraki Dance Festival in the end of August and two weeks into September if I can get some time off, which I am still trying to push through with the friendly bosses. My current hunch is “yes”.

Tommy Hermansen


Important Travel Warning!

The World Health Organisation today issued a new warning against non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome (SLOPS). Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US, almost all of Western Europe, and Canada, following further outbreaks of the disease, which has led to mass panic among the media, thousands of ecstatic children being kept out of school by their credulous and moronic parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot public rush to bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits. A WHO spokesman said, “You’d be much better off going to somewhere like Thailand or China, because all you’ve got to worry about there is SARS, and let’s face it, you’re about as likely to die from that as you are to get kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns. “The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six months, which makes it considerably more deadly than, say, malaria, which only kills around 3000 people every single day. Malaria, however, mainly effects only darkies what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at least one English person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days, and is therefore considered much more serious. The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease. The rapid spread of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the need for Western leaders to give the public something to worry about. Otherwise, they might start asking uncomfortable questions about domestic issues, and that simply would not do.

Author unknown (Posted from mass e-mail)